“See how big it is?” she said. “They can always make it faster than you can drink it”. “Maybe so” said Murphy “But I’ve got ‘em working nights!”A woman buys a new Sim Card. She puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband, who is seated on the couch in the living room. She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number: “Hello Darling”. The husband responds in a low tone: “Let me call you back later, Honey, my wife is in the kitchen”.A lady to doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?” Doctor: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake!”The other day I went up to a Christian bookstore and saw a “honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker”. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper.I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about. Keeping us a secret is impossible. Did you masturbate after we talked last night?’ ‘No. I’ll only cum when you tell me to.’ ‘When we hang up cum for me.’ ‘Are we hanging up now?’ ‘Soon. How long has it been since you were in a sexual relationship?’ ‘Four years. He died and I was given my freedom. I have had sex with two men and a woman between him and right now. The last man was two years ago. I have been tested and I’m clean.’ I had been tested as a part of my annual physical only a month ago. I was clean, too. ‘Can you have children?’ ‘No.’ ‘Ok.’ ‘Are you nude?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Cum for me. I can hardly wait until tomorrow afternoon.’ I hung up. I went to bed. The alarm woke me and I got up. I wasn’t used to the house being so quiet so I turned on the radio as I got ready for work. I was interested in the weather report and then in a story about a man who came home late last night and his wife shot him with both barrels of his shotgun. She was reported to have said that his mistress had.
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